But what about...

If you've been following along, you know I have zero use for the current president.  I am not alone in my beliefs.  Occasional I will engage a supporter of the current president and I end up in a "But what about..." death spiral.

But what about what Hillary...
But what about Obama...
But what about Bill...
But what about the connection to Jeffrey Epstein...
But what about the unborn babies...
But what about good cops...
But what about white lives...
And ON AND ON

Here's the thing...maybe there are issues with the above what abouts and a whole slew of others but, and I will type slowly so that everyone understands.

The current president is the one currently in charge as he likes to tell us all the time (INSERT EYEROLL HERE).  That means for everything that goes on (lower jobless rates today) that he has nothing to do with that he takes credit for...there is something that he HAS done (saying today is a great day for George Floyd) and will either clarify or deflect blame.  For those who might think or say that my statement is fake news...no, the current president did say that, it's a direct quote. 

Remember, it's not fake news just because you don't like what it says.

So I leave you with this...

But what about the time a reality TV B list at best blow hard who "tells it like it is" but has to clarify everything that comes out of his mouth, sexual predator, misogynist, racist, lowlife ran for president...and in spite of losing the popular vote wound up in the white house. 

Disappointment

I think the thing that is most disappointing to me is that for 8 years we had a president who was a good person; avoided scandal (except for the tan suit and maybe calling Kanye a jackass…even if that statement is correct).  Even if you disagreed with everything he stood for, I think you’d be hard pressed to say accurately that he wasn’t a good person.   

Now we have a person who not only isn’t a good president but he is one of the worst human beings that has come around in a long time.  So it leads me to believe that many people voted for this thoroughly horrible human being because they were outraged that a black man was elected president twice. Or maybe because they didn’t want a woman president…which infuriates me as a woman.  

Now before you say…well Hillary is a horrible person, blah blah blah…STOP.  This isn’t about Hillary.  Hillary is a different blog post.  The people still chanting “lock her up” at Trump rallies are idiots and if that makes me sound elitist, I am OK with that.

People elected a person who has been accused of crimes, has cheated on all of his wives, is a horrible business man, stole from his own charity, shirked military duty in Vietnam…I could go on for days describing how horrible this person is who is president.  

The pro-lifers will say, “Oh but he is pro life”.  No, he’s not.  He’d like you to think he is.  Plus I have news for the pro-lifers, unless you’re willing to take care of all of these unborn babies once they are born and if they happen to be not white, you’re not pro-life either.  People are making a big deal about Trump being the first president to participate in the March for Life…he’s not pro-life; he’s pro Donald Trump and nothing more. 

 I won’t even get into the argument that the government should not be making decisions about my reproductive rights PERIOD.  If only people would defend a woman’s right to choose as staunchly as they defend their right to a gun or 100 guns.

To the people who don’t believe in climate change, please go sit next to the people chanting “lock her up” because you’re a bunch of idiots too.

To the senators willing to overlook facts, corroborating witnesses and the Constitution, you’re no better than Trump is.

Oh yeah, the tax cuts…has anyone looked at the national debt lately?

To the people angry about the Clinton connection to Jeffrey Epstein…there is a Trump connection as well…of course that’s not important to Trump supporters.  The hypocrisy is STAGGERING.

You may say I sound a little angry, I am but not for the reason you think.  While talking about the trial with my sister, she said there was no hope.  We didn’t go into whether she was talking about no hope of conviction, no hope of getting through to Trump’s base, or just generally no hope.  I am angry about THAT. 

I am disappointed in every person that voted for Trump regardless of your reasoning.  

I realize he won’t be president forever and that gives me HOPE because America is better than this daily shit show.  I just hope we can convince our allies when it’s finally over.

Are There Really People Like This?

I remember years back when Jersey Shore first came on MTV.  I am a believer that MTV should play music videos and only music videos but that is an entirely different post.

For reasons I cannot comprehend Chris and I were drawn to watch a few Jersey Shore episodes.  I remember saying..."I cannot believe there are people really like this in the world."  Now I realize that the characters in Jersey Shore were more than likely portraying caricatures of themselves (or maybe not) but at the end of the day unless they were in a bar fight or drunkenly falling on the beach, they were really not causing any serious harm.

Fast forward a bit and we have a "reality star" living in the white house.  I know I have mentioned before that the term "reality star" shouldn't exist.  I mean, let's be honest, look where it has gotten us. 

Put a reality star in the white house and apparently...

It's OK to marginalize anyone who isn't white...or a man
It's OK to "grab 'em by the pussy"
It's OK be hypocritical daily
It's OK to lie about everything

I could go on for hours about the things that are now OK that would have been a rip roaring scandal between 2009 and 2016 and really any other time frame in American history.

So today I ask the question...are there really people like this?  Who think the above is OK?  Yeah, there are...and the harm it's doing to this country is awful.

The day is coming when we won't have a reality star in the white house.  I hope the damage done by him and his cronies can be repaired.

Call 911 First!

Hi blog friends.  It’s been a while.

Had another little health adventure this past weekend.  While I try to inject humor into my posts, please take my title seriously.  I am fine but have heard my title multiple times since Saturday and every person that has said it is right.

Last Saturday started early...my elderly beagle had a vet appointment and it was still dark when my alarm went off.  For those not local to Chicago, until the time change this weekend, the sun comes up around 7 these days.

Came home from the vet and grabbed some Belvita cookies for breakfast as I headed out the door to the first of 2 soccer games for the day.  My niece and nephew had both made the playoffs in fall soccer this year.  I had time in between to stop and home to send Chris and Charlie off on a college visit for the weekend.  Back to the pitch I went for game 2.  Both teams ended up losing which when you are a spectator and the temps are in the 40s, it’s not the worst thing.  The players did not share my theory.

After the games I drove home, had lunch and remembered I had not taken my usual meds earlier so I took them with lunch...I take blood pressure meds which I acquired from that whole cancer experience.  I was also finishing a prescription for bronchitis.

Spent Saturday afternoon doing chores specifically switching from summer clothes to winter clothes which involves many trips up and down the basement stairs.  I was also doing laundry, baking an almond cake and paying bills...basically honing multitasking skills. LOL

I was going to my Mom’s for pizza, so about 4 I finished up, showered and got ready.  It was pouring.  It had poured most of the day.

I had a few minutes before I needed to leave so I plopped into Chris’ recliner and turned on the Property Brothers.

Very suddenly, I was aware of my heart beat.  VERY AWARE OF MY HEART BEAT.  It was going fast.  I looked at the heart rate monitor on my I-Watch...171.  Hmmm, that’s pretty fast, sitting here watching the Property Brothers.  I took a few deep breaths think my heart rate would go back to normal....181...deep breathing didn’t work.  I was a little nervous to drive anywhere so...

I called my Mom.  Told her what was going on.  The pizza was delivering to her house so...

She called my sister.

For those that don’t know, we live within 5 blocks of each other.

I had removed the watch because I thought seeing the numbers was making it worse...the numbers had been fluctuating but had not gone below 100.  My resting heart rate is between 65 and 70.

My sister arrived; pouring doesn’t begin to describe how hard it was raining.

We discussed for several minutes what to do.  I was starting to freak out a bit.

Finally...we called 911.

The paramedics came...did the usual work up.  Brought in the EKG machine...the read out was fairly impressive. 😳

We then discussed if my sister was going to drive to the hospital or if I was going in the 🚑.  FOR A FEW MINUTES I CONSIDERED NOT GOING IN THE AMBULANCE. Then the paramedics said if I didn’t go with them, they couldn’t help if something worse happened.  Suddenly the ambulance was the best idea ever.

My first thought when this started was, “Is this what a heart attack feels like?”  I didn’t have chest pains, a pain running up my arm, I wasn’t clammy, nauseous or dizzy.  I felt fine except for it felt like my heart was trying to escape my chest through my sternum.

At the emergency room, we went through the same questions...

Chest pains?  Nope
Nauseous?   Nope
Shortness of breath?  Nope
Clammy?   Nope
Dizzy?   Nope

Heart rate 170.

When they hooked me up to 2 IV lines and the EKG machine, the diagnosis was arterial fibrillation (A-fib).  I was quickly getting meds to bring my heart rate down.  It was like flipping a switch and my heart rate eased.  In a few more minutes I had converted back to normal sinus rhythm.  I had still earned admission to the hospital.

I am not going to lie.  Saturday night was pretty scary.  If you’ve followed my blog from the beginning, you know I am not one for causing a lot of commotion.  Take my advice, CAUSE THE COMMOTION!!!

I spent 3 days in the hospital.  Took a bunch of tests.  Have some new meds.  I am fine.  And lucky.  Bottom line...my heart is in great shape but needs to learn to relax.  I’m working on that.

The paramedics, nurses, doctors, nursing assistants, stress test techs, and every person I have spoken to have said I should have called 911 first and I know how lucky I am it wasn’t something worse.

8.5.19

When I was sick, so many people told me they would pray for me or have a good thought for me.  It was humbling for sure.  I am Catholic by birth, baptism, etc; non practicing at this time due to some issues I have with the Church.  I have not let the mistakes of the Church affect my relationship with God.

Members of a synagogue in Connecticut prayed for me.  Members of a mosque in Nevada prayed for me.  Friends who don't believe in God held me in their thoughts.  People I had never met lifted me up and I believe had a hand in my healing.

Not sure why this came to mind today; two days after two deranged individuals decided to shoot up crowded places full of innocent people.  Kind of makes you wonder what is wrong with the world, doesn't it?

What made me so special that people went out of their way to help, offer words of encouragement, prayers, etc?

What makes people so angry and filled with hate that they walk into a Walmart, a theatre, a hotel room, a college lecture hall, a classroom, down the street of an entertainment district and shoot?  And before the debate begins, they are not all mentally ill.  Some people are just evil.

Since Saturday afternoon, I have had a nagging desire to do something.  I am not even sure what.  Something needs to change...check that, A LOT of things need to change.

Thoughts and prayers are not enough to fix this. 

Being divided over semantics isn't going to fix this

A wall isn't going to fix this, the problem is on the inside like a cancer.

When the farce is over.

When this farce of a presidency is over, there are a few things I NEVER want to hear or read again.

"double down"
"the president tweeted"
"make America great again"
"special advisor to the president"
"Kellyanne Conway"
"Mar-a-Lago"
"disgrace"
"failing New York Times"
any combination of "best" "great" "very best" or "greatest" when spoken by the 45th president when referring to himself, his staff or something they have done.
"repeal and replace"
"the Trump administration"
"fake news"
"Fox News"
"the wall", "build the wall", "Mexico is going to pay for the wall"...Pink Floyd's The Wall is OK.
the chart showing how much time has been wasted golfing by the tweeter in chief
photos of Ivanka Trump playing world leader with zero qualifications; she's not even a great fashion designer
photos of Steve Bannon, Michael Cohen, Stephen Miller, Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Stormy Daniels, any of the others of the legion of 45's dalliances
"grab them by the..."

The one thing I will miss when this farce of a presidency is over.

SNL parodies

Will It Come Back for Me?

I found out today a friend passed away.  Not anything new as you get older but this friend died of cancer.

She had cancer several years ago and beat it.

When it returned, it was everywhere. 

I swear I hate cancer with the fire of a thousand suns. 

Almost immediately, my irrational brain started to race...wondering if someday cancer is going to come back for me.  For a split second the fear is paralyzing.  Then a mini panic attack.

Breathe in, breathe out. 

My heart slows to a normal rhythm, the rational brain regains control.  I have no control over my lymphoma returning.  I am 4.5 years from diagnosis and a little over 4 years from learning I had gone into remission.  After 5 years, the chances of a re-occurrence become minuscule.   Tick tock.  I don't like to wish my life away, but...

Will it come back for me??








Not today.

My brain on Prednisone

Lay down, pull the covers up...settle my head on the pillow and there it goes...

did I send that email?
where are my keys"
did I lock the garage?
is the kitchen window open?
did I feed the dog?
did I send that report?
why is my calf cramping?
it's warm in here.
warm summer nights at the beach
bonfires
did someone bring the bug spray?
where are the marshmallows?
is that meeting Tuesday or Wednesday?
am I ever going to sleep?

When I was going through chemo, part of the regimen included prednisone.  Anyone reading this who has taking prednisone knows that it makes you a little crazy.  It gave me so much energy.  BUT, it also made my brain spin in overdrive.  Often, when trying to drift off to sleep, it was as if 20 people were all trying to talk to me at once. 

I have a recollection of a night that I decided to sleep on the couch in the family room to give Chris half a chance to sleep because while my brain spun wildly, I also had a difficult time staying comfortable and I was constantly flipping my pillow to the cooler side.  I found that I often fell asleep better if I had something to distract my brain so I left the TV on.  The Food Network was always a reasonable choice.

Ace of Cakes was on many nights during the overnight hours. 

roll the fondant.
modeling chocolate bugs?
pharmaceutical commercials
edible palm trees
is Bobby Flay on every show on the Food Network?

Eventually my brain would settle down and I would get some sleep...often with Duff Goldman appearing in my dreams.

There were usually 5 days around my infusion when my brain on prednisone would be completely crazy.  Ironically, cancer makes you tired, and often your chemo regimen makes you tired.  I remember being bone tired and yet completely unable to sleep.  After one treatment, I cleaned the cabinets in my kitchen because I had that much nervous energy.

My mantra became, "Relax, Rest, Recover" and some nights I literally said those words over and over until I fell asleep.

is the dog in or out?
did I turn off the oven?
check the clock
what was the deadline on the budgets?
is that appointment Wednesday?
who is coming with me?
when does baseball start?
is that a draft on my bald head?
i have a taste for mushroom risotto
last day for this batch of prednisone is tomorrow.

Maybe Sunday night I'll sleep.

I Hope You Never...

I hope you never have to make the decision that Oscar Alberto Martinez Ramirez had to make last weekend.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2019/06/26/father-daughter-who-drowned-border-dove-into-river-desperation/?fbclid=IwAR2nLzXXw82HumCOR4NG65vB1aXO6UMDyptGRjU9LjSoGHUqyLOChKFyUec&utm_term=.a509922a875e

I hope you never have to leave the place you live and move to a foreign country to escape poverty, violence, or both.

I hope you never have to walk thousands of miles in search of a better life for your family. 

I hope you never have to make a decision to swim to safety and asylum.

I hope you're never in a situation when you are separated from your children needlessly.

For those of you still saying migrants shouldn't come, I hope you are never in the situations chronicled above.  If you aren't, you're lucky.  Lucky that you were born in the USA.

These migrants aren't coming here to take your jobs.  To those of you claiming this, do you pick produce for a living?  Do you clean hotel rooms?  Do you bus tables in a diner?  I am guessing not.  The vast majority of the migrants aren't criminals.  They are people wanting a better life than what their country affords them.  They don't want their children kidnapped...or worse.  They don't want to pay protection money to the local gangs in their country.

To those Americans protesting the loudest over the crisis at the border...what does your god say about those in need?  I know he DOESN'T say, "Just help those who are white, or rich or whatever".  Those in this country who revere our idiot president and his gang of criminals and claim to be Christians:  You're frauds, every last one of you.  I would rather have 20 Oscar Alberto Martinez Ramirezes than any ONE of you.

I am not suggesting opening the borders; that is absurd. But what is happening at our southern border is criminal.  The United States is a first world country and we are treating human beings like garbage.  Where is the outrage from pro-lifers?  Where is the outrage from anyone who has a family and a heart?

 "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

THIS is what America is all about.  THIS is what makes America great. 

America was great before the idiot in the white house had red hats made (by people in a Chinese factory, no less) Wonder if those hats are affected by his tariffs?

When this joke of a presidency is over and the history books are written, I would venture to say that there will not be kind words for the 45th president of the United States.  I am sure he will find it unfair, even if it is 100% accurate.

I hope we never have another presidency like this one, in my lifetime.

Read the whole article in the link above.  This is bigger and so much more important than kneeling for the anthem.

You Don’t Know What It’s Like

Take a look at the video below.

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/oLht/facebook-groups-her-first-baseball-game-song-by-bee-gees

This commercial has been on TV for a while.  The first thing that caught my attention was the song.  It’s one of my favorite BeeGees songs.  It was probably the 3rd or 4th time I heard the commithat I actually stopped and watched it.

I was immediately taken to Sunday afternoons at Sox Park with my Dad in the 70s.  Back when Sunday double headers were scheduled.  Our school had a program where you earned tickets through good grades or perfect attendance.  I chose the Sunday double headers.  The sun splashed Sundays, the railings with 34567 coats of paint in that old ball park, parking by the railroad tracks, the scent of hot dogs, onions, cotton candy, the taste of Cracker Jack and wishing the toy in the box to be tattoos.

The commercial made me miss those days.  My Dad took me to ball games before FACEBOOK made a group about it.

On this Father’s Day, I have many friends, like myself who are missing their Dads today.  For those of you who still have your Dads...if you haven’t already, call them.  Tell them you love them.  Reminisce about when you were a kid.

You don’t know what it’s like, you don’t know what it’s like, to love somebody, to love somebody, the way I love you.

Happy Father’s Day

Maybe you're not as Pro Life as you think...

So before I go off on a rant for a Wednesday, I want to start by saying I consider myself to be pro life...in sense that I am NOT pro abortion.  However, more importantly, I am PRO CHOICE because quite frankly what another woman (any woman) does with her body is NONE OF MY BUSINESS and it's NONE OF YOURS.

Does that make me less of a Christian than someone who wants to defund Planned Parenthood or who votes under the cover of darkness to take women's rights away?  On the contrary.  A lot of these so called "Christians" have no plans to take care of the fetuses they are saving when they become actual impoverished children; especially if they aren't white.  A lot of them also balk when there is talk of gun control after another school shooting.

So here's what I think...you're not truly pro-life, if you're only concerned about life at conception.  It's kind of like adopting a dog or cat; it's a lifetime commitment.  You're not truly pro-life if you're not concerned about the children living in poverty in your own town, or the children living in a  migrant detention camp; with our without their parents.You're not truly pro-life if you are more concerned about your guns than you are about a child gunned down in their classroom.  You don't get to be a pick and choose Christian; you're either all in or you're not.  I am not asking pro-life "Christians" to stop believing what they believe; just be cognizant and accepting of the people in the world that don't think like you do.

Your god is.

A Disgrace

So I was walking outside on a lovely spring afternoon recently.  For those that don't know, I live in the shadow of the second largest (at least I think it's still second) airport. I have always been fascinated by aviation.  It astounds me that something as heavy as a fully loaded airplane soars like a beautiful shiny bird.

When I was a kid, I could tell you what kind of plane was flying overhead and knew the logos of many many airlines.

I have seen Air Force One arrive and depart O'Hare on multiple occasions...with several different Presidents on board and it always made me stand a little taller and be a little prouder to be an American; regardless of who was President.  It literally had nothing  to do with whether or not I agreed with the political leanings of the person on the plane.

It was because of what the office of the President stood for.

I can honestly say, I would not feel the same way if I saw Air Force One during the current presidency and again it has very little to do with the political leanings of POTUS45.

You see, I don't identify as Democrat or Republican.  I find some current members of both parties to be repugnant and others I like just fine. I think some that have been around forever should probably retire and I think some who are brand new should maybe learn the ropes a little bit and not rely on their "rockstar" status.

POTUS45 is...well, let me state it in a word he will understand...a disgrace.

A disgrace as a human, a husband, a businessman, a father, a president, how much time do you have?  He's not a good example of any of those things.  He is currently profiting on the backs of the people he is sworn to serve as he trots off to golf just about every other week. He lies; remember he swore he wasn't going to vacation as much as the previous President...I call BULLSHIT. He lies about stupid things that can easily be proven to be lies.  I am fairly certain he thinks his followers are stupid. They’d have to be to believe what comes out of his mouth.

He has tarnished the office of the president; he is a laughingstock worldwide.  He doesn't speak in coherent sentences; let me repeat that, the man who possesses the nuclear codes CANNOT SPEAK IN A COMPLETE COHERENT SENTENCE.

People that I consider to be sane and logical turn a blind eye while this pathetic excuse for a commander in chief fumbles his way through life...regularly attempting obstruction of justice, hiring his daughter whose company was sued repeatedly for knocking off patented products with her “company” as a “senior advisor”.  The White House is a freaking circus.  POTUS45 tweets petty insults, shirks responsibility, and acts like a 12 year old (my sincerest apologies to the 12 year olds I have insulted). Then he blames mainstream media.  Grow thicker skin old man.  Mainstream media roasted Barack Obama for wearing a brown suit.  You’re going to get roasted and ridiculed and mocked for your daily antics.

I tried having an open mind...I didn’t want the pilot to crash the plane.  POTUS45 has been far worse than I feared

So, no, I won’t stand a little taller if I see Air Force One in the next 21 months...the office of the president is currently a sham and not deserving of respect.

Stop Giving Him What He Wants

By now just about everyone everywhere is aware of the Jussie Smollett situation...unless you have lived under a rock since the end of January.

Something about his story rubbed me the wrong way from day 1 but I tried not to be judgemental.  After all, why would he lie?? After all, we live in a world that is far more racist and homophobic than I used to think possible.  Still, if anyone living in Chicago on January 29th remembers, it was STUPID COLD here then.  What idiot is going to walk to a Subway in the middle of the night??  Oh, wait...

But here is the thing...the alleged "attack" was staged for attention.  That fact that it now appears to be completely false does a huge disservice to the Black community, the LGBTQ community, and the reputation of the city of Chicago.  Stop giving the person at the center of this scandal the attention.  That is what he craves.

Racism exists
Homophobia exists

Some would say that they are more prominent now than they were (pick a number of years) ago.  Some would say that the current president and his rhetoric encourages both.  We could debate on that until the end of time.

 The fact of the matter is, I wanted it (or some version of it) to be true because I knew how awful it would be if it wasn't.  I knew that in the world we live in today, everyone has to be on one side or the other.  There can never just be middle ground.  Everything has to be a confrontation.

I am a self admitted news junkie so between what I watch and read, let's just say that I have seen and heard more about Jussie Smollett since January 29th than I want to talk about.  If everything that is currently being speculated is true, he deserves not ONE MORE SECOND of anyone's time.  The outcome of his trial should be a one liner buried in the entertainment section of a newspaper and a tiny snippet in the crawl on a TV newscast. Stop showing his photo, stop tweeting about him, just stop giving him what he wants. 

There are so many more things that deserve the attention...the baby that was shot in the head in a car in Chicago around the same time...the fact that the 45th president plays fast and loose with the Constitution on a daily basis, the fact that gun violence is rampant, the fact that people are attacked for being different,  the fact that celebrities are too often revered for nothing more than being famous, the fact that real people have been and will be hurt because of a stupid, arrogant "plot" executed for attention or whatever the excuse will be.

This is why people don't come forward...whether it be for an attack similar to what was portrayed in Chicago in January or countless other attacks; be it physical, emotional, sexual.  Because at some point someone made up a story...and people became cynical. Now if something similar happens for real, the victim will be questioned.  That's not a path we should go down; stop giving him what he wants.

Signs

I believe in signs.

7 days after my Dad passed in 1990, we had a huge blizzard in Chicago.  It was the first time I had driven in significant snow.  I felt my Dad with me the whole way home from DePaul University’s Lincoln Park campus.

A few days ago on the anniversary of my Dad’s death, the first FB post I saw that day was from my Dad’s favorite place on Earth...coincidence?  I doubt it.

A few days after my cancer diagnosis, I was driving to work and Don’t Stop Believing came on the radio.  Journey was my favorite group growing up.  It was also the playoff themes when my beloved White Sox won the World Series in 2005.  That song became my fight song and continues to be my Relay for Life team name.

I am a big NASCAR fan.  I was supposed to go to the Daytona 500 a few weeks after my diagnosis.  Flying is not recommended for chemo patients so we postponed the trip.  When we went to Daytona in 2016, there were signs everywhere.  Even though my Dad had been gone 26 years, he was at Daytona with me.  I could feel it.

About a month ago, a man by the name of J.D. Gibbs passed away from a degenerative brain disease at the age of 49.  J.D. was the son of Coach Joe Gibbs, former coach of the Washington Redskins and cofounder of Joe Gibbs Racing.  Coach Gibbs has had competitive race teams in NASCAR for many years. J.D. confounded JGR with his Dad and was President of the company until 2015 when he got his diagnosis.  J.D. played football...much has been discussed about football and brain injuries.  When he played football, he wore #11.

Today was the 61st running of the Daytona 500.  During pre-race shows, Fox Sports did a piece on J.D. Gibbs.  It brought me to tears more than once.  The JGR teams stood on the pit stall walls during lap 11 in tribute.  Today’s race was eventful for sure with several late wrecks taking out a chunk of the field.  As darkness fell on Daytona International Speedway, the #11 car crossed the finish line under a waving checkered flag.  Coach Gibbs in a post race interview said J.D. had the best view of today’s race from heaven.  He sure did, Coach. He sure did.

Coincidence? I doubt it.

Just for the Record

Just for the record, the obnoxious teenagers from Covington, KY would still be obnoxious if they weren’t wearing MAGA caps.

I am grateful that  the idiotic things I did as a teenager were not captured on cell phone video to spend eternity out on the internet.

I find it remarkable that people are defending them.  I went to Catholic school from grade school all  the way through 2+ years of grad school.  I can tell you honestly that no adult affiliated with the grade schools and the high school I attended would have tolerated the behavior I saw on a 5 minute video that took place BEFORE the gentleman playing the drum arrived on the scene.

So yes, there are multiple sides to every story.

Just for the record, you probably shouldn’t be getting your stories from Breitbart or Fox News or other sources known to spew bullshit.

People have wasted a lot of energy on this story over the last few days.

Meanwhile we’re on day 32 of the longest government shutdown in US history.  The president has manufactured a “state of emergency” and he along with congress are holding government workers hostage.  Is this the “great” he was talking about?  Or was it just another lie?  I know where I would put my money.

Just for the record, a memory appeared on my FB feed today from 2 years ago...I was keeping an open mind and expectations low in the days after the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States.  I am not surprised to say that 45 has sunk even lower that my wildest imagination.  Every day he and his band of misfits do something that just defies logic and reality; rinse and repeat.

Just for the record, this madness won’t last forever.

Christmas Memories

How many people reading this know who Ray Conniff was?  How many people have listened to this album (yes, I said album)?  How many people remember records? RECORDS!!

When I was a kid, my grandparents had an attractive piece of wooden furniture in their living room that 10.5 or so months a year, I didn't pay a lot of attention to.  But when you got to late November or early December...we opened the top of that piece of furniture and low and behold, inside was a turn table, a AM/FM receiver and a place to store roughly 20 RECORDS.  When you made your selection and set it on the turntable, Grandpa would open these vent like things on either side of the front of that piece of furniture and the most wonderful rich sounding music came out of the speakers.

You were a big kid when work it yourself.  Christmas with Conniff was a favorite of my grandparents and mine too.  Back when I was a kid, Christmas didn't start on the day after Halloween like it does now.  I have fond memories of it being a relatively quiet time; although now that I am an adult, it's only a quiet time for kids.  Adults are rushing around like a bunch of crazy people. 

When we were too young to go home from school alone, my sister and I spent after school time at my grandparents' house.  It was truly one of the perks of living a block away from them.  It was another opportunity to listen this this album.

Every year we would go over to my grandparents' house and decorate their Christmas tree...I only remember artificial trees but photos show evidence of real trees over the years as well.  I loved opening the boxes of ornaments and finding the right spot for each and every one.  We still laugh about the apparent annual feud that went on between my Mom and her siblings.  It seems when they were children, it was fashionable to make styrofoam ornaments and pin sequins to them in various designs...or initials.  Imagine as a child watching 3 of your favorite adults removing and rehanging initialed ornaments in various spots on the tree (mostly the back) or under the tree.  LOL  Grandma would tolerate the feud and on Christmas morning the ornaments with "M", "R" and "J" would all have a place on the front of the tree; a Christmas truce if you will.

A lot has changed since those days  Grandma has been gone 18 years and Grandpa almost 14.  I am guessing that Ray Conniff plays in heaven and I can see Grandpa snapping his fingers in a sweater vest and Grandma tapping a toe in her Christmas apron.

We still have a Christmas gathering in the house they shared and we still bake the press cookies that we have made every year that I can remember (and that's quite a few).  I have some of Grandma and Grandpa's ornaments on my tree and some of their decorations are up in my house.

The other day I was listening to Alexa play me some Christmas music (My grandfather would likely NOT be a fan of Alexa).  Over the course of a few hours while I baked and did housework, several selections from this album played.  Each one took me on a  bittersweet stroll down memory lane. 
I hope you have heard some music this season that has jogged some good memories for you as well or maybe a special ornament takes you back to a time long ago.

Lies & Spin

You knew I wasn't going to shy away from discussing politics for any great length of time.

Did you know politicians lie?  I feel pretty confident in saying that at one time or another every politician has told a lie.  The problem is, a lot of people don't know the difference between lies and spin; they cannot even differentiate between reality and the preposterous.  This is why it is so very important for political leaders to rein in their "spin" if you will.  Hover a little closer to reality.  Not appeal to the percentage of the population that thrives on drama even when it doesn't exist.

There is  caravan of migrants that has come from Central America on the way to the USA through Mexico and has been described as an angry mob of criminals that includes Middle Eastern terrorists and there have been American soldiers deployed to protect our border from invasion.

Really???  So someone who is from Saudi Arabia or Yemen, or Iran or anywhere in the Middle East has flown to Honduras or Guatemala and has decided to WALK through Mexico for more than a thousand miles to cross the American border and terrorize Americans.

Stop and read that last paragraph again.  Does it sound as stupid in your head as it did in mine as I typed it?

If you have been following along with the news...and no, not all news is true.  However, not all news that goes against what the guy living in the White House says and believes is false.  And it's not false just because he doesn't like it.

It's up to you and me and the farmer in central Iowa and the lawyer in midtown Manhattan and the stay at home Mom in a suburb of Denver and the millennial working in Silicon Valley and the Operation Enduring Freedom veteran hanging on by a thread in a struggle with PTSD and EVERY OTHER AMERICAN to figure what is true and what is false.

So let's see if I can help.

There are indeed migrants moving through Mexico, on foot and while I cannot speak for each and every one of them, most of them are women and children leaving their home country because of violence to them or family members.  Is everyone of them a model citizen by any country's standards?  Probably not.  Is it necessary to have thousands of troops at the border to stop the INVASION?  Again probably not.  These people are looking for a safe place to live.  Is America the answer?  Maybe.  Should they all be allowed in?  Yes, that is what this country stands for...you know...give me your tired and your poor, yearning to live free....  Should they all be allowed in illegally with no vetting and no rules and regulations?  No.  Are they going to take your job?  I cannot answer that question.  Although I would venture a guess that many of them if allowed to come here would be taking entry level positions or menial positions that many Americans would think beneath them.

Let's move on shall we...there's an ad about an illegal immigrant who went on a drug fueled rampage and killed some sheriff's deputies in CA in 2014.  The ad was released by the guy in the white house and blames the Democrats for letting the guy into the country and letting him stay.  What the ad fails to mention is that the person profiled in the ad was in fact arrested in Arizona in 1998 by Joe Arpaio and deported.  He then returned to the US sometime between May of 2001 and Feb 2002.  If you Google...you will see the president in that time frame was a republican, the senate had a democratic majority and the house had a republican majority.  I guarantee the criminal profiled in the ad wasn't on the radar of any of them.  This particular spin is simply bullshit.  Except many people who follow the guy in the White House BELIEVE said bullshit because the guy in the White House said it.  In the history of the United States, it has NEVER been easier to be informed.  And yet, people choose NOT to be informed.

Now let's talk about people born on US soil.  The 14th Amendment to the Constitution states that those born in the US are by definition US citizens.  The guy living in the White House thinks he can make that go away with an executive order.  Yeah, he can't.  A good number of the people in this country have taken a class or two on the Constitution.  If you want to amend the Constitution, it’s a 2/3 majority in both houses of Congress and 3/4 of state legislatures need to ratify it.  Good luck with that.  You cannot get members of the House and the Senate to agree on the color of the sky on a cloudless day.

For those of you that take the guy in the White House at his word, you’re foolish. Many days when he (or Sarah Huckabee) speaks, I don’t even need Google to prove him (or her) wrong.  Basic knowledge and common sense tell me so.  It’s telling you so too. The guy in the White House knows he is lying.  It is all very calculated.

I will be the first to admit that I don’t believe anything a politician tells me, doesn’t matter the party.  I can research and am in tune with the political leanings of the sources I believe or ignore.  I also believe that good wins out over evil every time so this current regime will end soon.  I know what side of history I will be on when that happens.

4 more years

4 more years, 4 more years, 4 more years!


Ha, it's not what you think.

I was sitting in my oncologist's office the other days and he said, "You're closing in on 4 years cancer free."  For a moment I was stunned.  Now don't get me wrong...I know exactly when I was diagnosed and exactly the moment when my oncologist told me I was cancer free.  I can tell you what I was wearing, what the weather was like and who was with me each time.  It's just that the almost 4 years has passed in the blink of an eye. 

Do you remember when you were a kid and Thanksgiving would come and you'd be all excited because that meant that Christmas was "right around the corner".  Then time would grind to a halt as you not so patiently waited for Santa to arrive.

As I have gotten older, Thanksgiving approaches and Christmas is indeed "right around the corner"  And it is barreling down upon me (and every other adult) like a freight train!!! I know understand fully why my parents looked so harried in the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

So with lymphoma, each year cancer free lessens the risk of recurrence.  So it's entirely possible I will go through the rest of my life silently chanting "4 more years, 4 more years, 4 more years!"

Thats What We’ve Become

So I have a few things on my mind.  I know, shocking, right?

I started this blog as a way to process my cancer battle and the aftermath.  Writing has always been a hobby of mine, a release if you will.  A stress reliever.  This week has been particularly stressful.

To the best of my knowledge I am cancer free...my oncologist will send me a postcard soon to remind me that I need to stop in, and give some blood to confirm that.

That’s not what I want to talk about though.

I always try to work through things with a certain amount of grace and humor.  I am not a perfect person...I have been known to fail in the grace department and rely on humor.  This week...the humor went out the window for a while as well.
People in America have lost their damn minds.

I have had many people argue with me this week about Brett Kavanaugh.  I can see differences of opinions about this absolutely.  I think I have been clear about how I feel about the situation.  The constant conversation about his confirmation hearing, Dr Ford’s testimony, and when a sexual abuse victim should speak up about it has triggered some rather unpleasant memories for me and I am sure millions of others.

Innocent until proven guilty...
The democrats should have...
A conspiracy
A smear campaign
Anyone is capable of lying and when pressed further, someone said their daughter was capable of lying when I asked them if their reaction would change if the accuser was their daughter.

Not one person arguing with me spoke to Judge Kavanaugh’s record; why he would make an exceptional Supreme Court Justice. They were too busy telling me how and why I was wrong.


That’s what we’ve become.

Someone even went so far as to say that he hoped Judge Kavanaugh would remember how the Democrats treated him during the confirmation process or some such nonsense.  I am paraphrasing it mostly because I was so incredulous reading it that I didn’t screen shot it so I could quote it.

That’s what we’ve become.

So here’s the thing...we need to table the innocent until proven guilty until we are discussing a criminal complaint.  We’re not there yet and we may never get there.

Senator Feinstein was keeping Dr Ford’s confidence...right or wrong, that is what she said she was doing.  I don’t have reason to think she is lying any more or any less than anybody else on that committee.

Conspiracy and smear campaign...sorry, not buying it and have seen ZERO evidence of it.

Here is what I do know...Dr Ford has had to leave her job and her home for this, she has received death threats.  She recounted an incredibly painful occurrence in her life in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee and however many people that watched the coverage.  She appeared composed and credible.  Judge Kavanaugh came of as petulant and unhinged; some sort of victim of a conspiracy.

 For the record...I only saw news clips, I couldn’t bear to listen to it live.

The Supreme Court is supposed to be non partisan.  Our political leaders are so caught up in the power of their positions that EVERYTHING has become partisan.  They’re not serving their constituents, they’re working on their campaign for the next election.  They are bought and paid for by special interest groups.  It’s disgusting.

That’s what we’ve become.

It’s too soon to tell what the future holds....something has to give though.

The Right Thing to Do

Brett Kavanaugh should withdrawn his name for the Supreme Court.  PERIOD

This isn't about party. It isn't about 45. It's about doing what is right.  I realize that is a foreign concept in this country these days; especially at the highest levels of government.

The hypocrisy of members of the Senate is laughable.  Let's not consider the nomination of Merrick Garland because a year from now Barack Obama won't be president anymore but let's rush through Brett Kavanaugh well, because he's a smart guy to paraphrase the guy who nominated him.

Seriously--is this what we've become?  Different political parties so HELL BENT on being in power that they resort to this BULLSHIT.

I know, I know, why didn't she come forward sooner???  That's really not for me (or anyone else) to comment on.

Have you ever been sexually assaulted?  Did you report it?  Were you believed?  Did you feel judged?  Did you carry it with you every day after?  Did it affect relationships?

Brett Kavanaugh categorically denies Christine Blasey Ford's accusations.  From what I have heard and read, perhaps it's because he doesn't remember.  Apparently there was a lot of teenage drinking and partying at prep school back in the day.  REGARDLESS of what he remembers, his accuser remembers and really that is all that matters.

Yes, I drank when I was a teenager, yes, I did things I shouldn't.  My reputation isn't on display.  I am not nominated for the Supreme Court.  Sorry if you have skeletons in your closet, you should not be a candidate for the Supreme Court.

We'll see what happens on Monday and in the days to follow.  I have an idea and I hope I am wrong.

I hope Brett Kavanaugh does what is right.  He has two daughters.  I'd be interested to hear his thoughts on how he would feel if a drunk prep school student pinned one of his daughters down and groped her.  My guess is, he'd be pretty angry.

We as a country need to do some serious soul searching if our elected officials think it's OK to rush this nomination through.  Yes, the FBI should investigate this and no, they shouldn't have to wait for 45 to give the order.  No one is above reproach.  NO ONE.

No one with a daughter (or a conscience) should be for the confirmation of this man.

And to the evangelical leaders that are urging the GOP to push this nomination through...take a step back.  We hear so much about your religious rights, blah blah blah.  Think about what you would do if Christine Blasey Ford was your daughter.  You don't get to push your religious beliefs on the rest of the world while you do whatever you please in your own life.  You don't get to thump your bible in one hand and oppress non religious people with the other.  You don't get to pick and choose when something is right or wrong for your own benefits.  That's not how it works.

Everyone eligible needs to vote, this November and for every election going forward.  If you don't like what your elected officials are doing CHANGE THEM.  They are not entitled to the job they hold.

WE THE PEOPLE vote them in AND out.

Members of the Senate and House of Representatives...you better figure out what side of history you want to land on.  I wouldn't want to stand with the guy in the white house...he stinks, as do most of those he has hired and surrounded himself with.  Don't be complicit.