A New Year

When you've had cancer, everything is new.

I have a new 'do.

I have new found strength and a new appreciation for my health.

It was right around this time last year that I started to feel lousy and progressively worse on a daily basis.  Each day I wake up with a memory of how I felt a year ago.  I wonder how I functioned as a wife, stepmom, inventory planner, auntie, friend, daughter, sister, niece....

Was it my back?  My gall bladder?  Nope...it was my blood.

I am looking forward to 2016.

My birthday is in 2 weeks.  I got my diagnosis 4 days after my birthday last year.  I wasn't eating much so I didn't enjoy my birthday dinner with Chris.

I am getting a do-over on my trip to Daytona in February.

I am going to Disney in May with my niece and nephew.  I can't wait to show them the magic of Disney.

A new year holds so much promise, so much hope.  For me everything stopped on 1/16/15 until I got a grip on my treatment.  For several days I lived in the twilight zone.

I have mentioned this before...I am lucky and grateful.  I am going to celebrate this New Year like never before.  Every day is important to me now.  I have a new appreciation for everything in my life

Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne.
For auld lang syne my dear for auld lang syne
We'll take a cup of kindness yet and days of auld lang syne.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmVXYOJzAJM&list=RDcmVXYOJzAJM

What a Differrence a Year Makes

It was just about a year ago that my health started going to hell in a hand basket.

Every morning when my alarm goes off I expect to not feel rested, to feel the pain in my back that didn't go away for so long.  Then I smile to myself when I don't.

I look in the mirror as I wash my face and marvel at the normal color of my skin and the fact that I don't have black circles under my eyes.

When I apply makeup it looks good.

When I go to bed after a long day, I go to sleep and it is restful.  Occasionally neuropathy in my hands wakes me out of sound sleep but in a matter of minutes I am back to sleep with no problem.

My appetite is good and I can eat pretty much anything and not feel icky.  A year ago, just about EVERYTHING I ate made me feel icky.

I am not going to lie; aches and pains scare the hell out of me; especially new ones.  Hopefully that will go away with time.  I am looking forward to Christmas even though I am a little overwhelmed with everything that needs to happen in the next 11 days.  One big difference though is that I feel like I can handle it.  A year ago, it was all I could do to put one foot in front of the other.  And if everything doesn't happen, that's OK too.

I approach 2016 with hope, health, happiness, a profound sense of gratitude and the need to enjoy everything I took for granted.  I also spend more time looking for the good in every person and situation.

Life is good; it's also maddening, scary sometimes, hard, dark, busy, and ever changing.  Buckle up, it's worth the ride!!

December Check Up

I had an appt with my oncologist today. 

It's funny how I can feel perfectly fine and yet walking into the office, I immediately felt a bit of anxiety.  I felt the blood pressure increase ever so slightly.  The irrational brain was working overtime.

The people at the office are all wonderful, kind, sweet, reassuring, I could go on and on.

I sat for a bit in the waiting room.  Patients currently receiving chemo get called first for morning appointments.

I got called for my blood test; the vein in my left arm was less cooperative than usual today.

Back to the waiting room.

It didn't help that the TV in the waiting room was tuned to the TODAY show and the hosts were discussing yesterday's mass shooting in California.  My blood boils when I think of how easy it is to get a gun in the US.  It is ridiculous really.

I got called for my vitals check...BP--perfect, temp 98 degrees; I have never once been 98.6, weight--higher than I'd like, perfect for "fighting weight".

Then I was escorted to an exam room.  Alone with my thoughts I sat for about a half hour.  A half hour alone with my thoughts is rarely a good thing.  I am not sure if this is by design or not but my oncologist's office is on the ground floor of the hospital and reception on my cell is almost non existent.  I didn't even have Lexelous to occupy my mind. 

I could hear Dr. K in the hall taking calls and dictating notes on a previous patient.

Then it was my turn.

"Perfect" blood work.

I knew it.  I feel fine.  People say I look good.  My skin tone is a healthy color.  I've said it before; grey is great for a cardigan, it's not a good skin tone!

I need to go back in April with a PET scan ahead of the appt.  All is well, let the holiday celebrating begin!