My brain on Prednisone

Lay down, pull the covers up...settle my head on the pillow and there it goes...

did I send that email?
where are my keys"
did I lock the garage?
is the kitchen window open?
did I feed the dog?
did I send that report?
why is my calf cramping?
it's warm in here.
warm summer nights at the beach
bonfires
did someone bring the bug spray?
where are the marshmallows?
is that meeting Tuesday or Wednesday?
am I ever going to sleep?

When I was going through chemo, part of the regimen included prednisone.  Anyone reading this who has taking prednisone knows that it makes you a little crazy.  It gave me so much energy.  BUT, it also made my brain spin in overdrive.  Often, when trying to drift off to sleep, it was as if 20 people were all trying to talk to me at once. 

I have a recollection of a night that I decided to sleep on the couch in the family room to give Chris half a chance to sleep because while my brain spun wildly, I also had a difficult time staying comfortable and I was constantly flipping my pillow to the cooler side.  I found that I often fell asleep better if I had something to distract my brain so I left the TV on.  The Food Network was always a reasonable choice.

Ace of Cakes was on many nights during the overnight hours. 

roll the fondant.
modeling chocolate bugs?
pharmaceutical commercials
edible palm trees
is Bobby Flay on every show on the Food Network?

Eventually my brain would settle down and I would get some sleep...often with Duff Goldman appearing in my dreams.

There were usually 5 days around my infusion when my brain on prednisone would be completely crazy.  Ironically, cancer makes you tired, and often your chemo regimen makes you tired.  I remember being bone tired and yet completely unable to sleep.  After one treatment, I cleaned the cabinets in my kitchen because I had that much nervous energy.

My mantra became, "Relax, Rest, Recover" and some nights I literally said those words over and over until I fell asleep.

is the dog in or out?
did I turn off the oven?
check the clock
what was the deadline on the budgets?
is that appointment Wednesday?
who is coming with me?
when does baseball start?
is that a draft on my bald head?
i have a taste for mushroom risotto
last day for this batch of prednisone is tomorrow.

Maybe Sunday night I'll sleep.