Lay down, pull the covers up...settle my head on the pillow and there it goes...
did I send that email?
where are my keys"
did I lock the garage?
is the kitchen window open?
did I feed the dog?
did I send that report?
why is my calf cramping?
it's warm in here.
warm summer nights at the beach
bonfires
did someone bring the bug spray?
where are the marshmallows?
is that meeting Tuesday or Wednesday?
am I ever going to sleep?
When I was going through chemo, part of the regimen included prednisone. Anyone reading this who has taking prednisone knows that it makes you a little crazy. It gave me so much energy. BUT, it also made my brain spin in overdrive. Often, when trying to drift off to sleep, it was as if 20 people were all trying to talk to me at once.
I have a recollection of a night that I decided to sleep on the couch in the family room to give Chris half a chance to sleep because while my brain spun wildly, I also had a difficult time staying comfortable and I was constantly flipping my pillow to the cooler side. I found that I often fell asleep better if I had something to distract my brain so I left the TV on. The Food Network was always a reasonable choice.
Ace of Cakes was on many nights during the overnight hours.
roll the fondant.
modeling chocolate bugs?
pharmaceutical commercials
edible palm trees
is Bobby Flay on every show on the Food Network?
Eventually my brain would settle down and I would get some sleep...often with Duff Goldman appearing in my dreams.
There were usually 5 days around my infusion when my brain on prednisone would be completely crazy. Ironically, cancer makes you tired, and often your chemo regimen makes you tired. I remember being bone tired and yet completely unable to sleep. After one treatment, I cleaned the cabinets in my kitchen because I had that much nervous energy.
My mantra became, "Relax, Rest, Recover" and some nights I literally said those words over and over until I fell asleep.
is the dog in or out?
did I turn off the oven?
check the clock
what was the deadline on the budgets?
is that appointment Wednesday?
who is coming with me?
when does baseball start?
is that a draft on my bald head?
i have a taste for mushroom risotto
last day for this batch of prednisone is tomorrow.
Maybe Sunday night I'll sleep.
Friday, June 28, 2019
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
I Hope You Never...
I hope you never have to make the decision that Oscar Alberto Martinez Ramirez had to make last weekend.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2019/06/26/father-daughter-who-drowned-border-dove-into-river-desperation/?fbclid=IwAR2nLzXXw82HumCOR4NG65vB1aXO6UMDyptGRjU9LjSoGHUqyLOChKFyUec&utm_term=.a509922a875e
I hope you never have to leave the place you live and move to a foreign country to escape poverty, violence, or both.
I hope you never have to walk thousands of miles in search of a better life for your family.
I hope you never have to make a decision to swim to safety and asylum.
I hope you're never in a situation when you are separated from your children needlessly.
For those of you still saying migrants shouldn't come, I hope you are never in the situations chronicled above. If you aren't, you're lucky. Lucky that you were born in the USA.
These migrants aren't coming here to take your jobs. To those of you claiming this, do you pick produce for a living? Do you clean hotel rooms? Do you bus tables in a diner? I am guessing not. The vast majority of the migrants aren't criminals. They are people wanting a better life than what their country affords them. They don't want their children kidnapped...or worse. They don't want to pay protection money to the local gangs in their country.
To those Americans protesting the loudest over the crisis at the border...what does your god say about those in need? I know he DOESN'T say, "Just help those who are white, or rich or whatever". Those in this country who revere our idiot president and his gang of criminals and claim to be Christians: You're frauds, every last one of you. I would rather have 20 Oscar Alberto Martinez Ramirezes than any ONE of you.
I am not suggesting opening the borders; that is absurd. But what is happening at our southern border is criminal. The United States is a first world country and we are treating human beings like garbage. Where is the outrage from pro-lifers? Where is the outrage from anyone who has a family and a heart?
"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
THIS is what America is all about. THIS is what makes America great.
America was great before the idiot in the white house had red hats made (by people in a Chinese factory, no less) Wonder if those hats are affected by his tariffs?
When this joke of a presidency is over and the history books are written, I would venture to say that there will not be kind words for the 45th president of the United States. I am sure he will find it unfair, even if it is 100% accurate.
I hope we never have another presidency like this one, in my lifetime.
Read the whole article in the link above. This is bigger and so much more important than kneeling for the anthem.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2019/06/26/father-daughter-who-drowned-border-dove-into-river-desperation/?fbclid=IwAR2nLzXXw82HumCOR4NG65vB1aXO6UMDyptGRjU9LjSoGHUqyLOChKFyUec&utm_term=.a509922a875e
I hope you never have to leave the place you live and move to a foreign country to escape poverty, violence, or both.
I hope you never have to walk thousands of miles in search of a better life for your family.
I hope you never have to make a decision to swim to safety and asylum.
I hope you're never in a situation when you are separated from your children needlessly.
For those of you still saying migrants shouldn't come, I hope you are never in the situations chronicled above. If you aren't, you're lucky. Lucky that you were born in the USA.
These migrants aren't coming here to take your jobs. To those of you claiming this, do you pick produce for a living? Do you clean hotel rooms? Do you bus tables in a diner? I am guessing not. The vast majority of the migrants aren't criminals. They are people wanting a better life than what their country affords them. They don't want their children kidnapped...or worse. They don't want to pay protection money to the local gangs in their country.
To those Americans protesting the loudest over the crisis at the border...what does your god say about those in need? I know he DOESN'T say, "Just help those who are white, or rich or whatever". Those in this country who revere our idiot president and his gang of criminals and claim to be Christians: You're frauds, every last one of you. I would rather have 20 Oscar Alberto Martinez Ramirezes than any ONE of you.
I am not suggesting opening the borders; that is absurd. But what is happening at our southern border is criminal. The United States is a first world country and we are treating human beings like garbage. Where is the outrage from pro-lifers? Where is the outrage from anyone who has a family and a heart?
"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
THIS is what America is all about. THIS is what makes America great.
America was great before the idiot in the white house had red hats made (by people in a Chinese factory, no less) Wonder if those hats are affected by his tariffs?
When this joke of a presidency is over and the history books are written, I would venture to say that there will not be kind words for the 45th president of the United States. I am sure he will find it unfair, even if it is 100% accurate.
I hope we never have another presidency like this one, in my lifetime.
Read the whole article in the link above. This is bigger and so much more important than kneeling for the anthem.
Sunday, June 16, 2019
You Don’t Know What It’s Like
Take a look at the video below.
https://www.ispot.tv/ad/oLht/facebook-groups-her-first-baseball-game-song-by-bee-gees
This commercial has been on TV for a while. The first thing that caught my attention was the song. It’s one of my favorite BeeGees songs. It was probably the 3rd or 4th time I heard the commithat I actually stopped and watched it.
I was immediately taken to Sunday afternoons at Sox Park with my Dad in the 70s. Back when Sunday double headers were scheduled. Our school had a program where you earned tickets through good grades or perfect attendance. I chose the Sunday double headers. The sun splashed Sundays, the railings with 34567 coats of paint in that old ball park, parking by the railroad tracks, the scent of hot dogs, onions, cotton candy, the taste of Cracker Jack and wishing the toy in the box to be tattoos.
The commercial made me miss those days. My Dad took me to ball games before FACEBOOK made a group about it.
On this Father’s Day, I have many friends, like myself who are missing their Dads today. For those of you who still have your Dads...if you haven’t already, call them. Tell them you love them. Reminisce about when you were a kid.
You don’t know what it’s like, you don’t know what it’s like, to love somebody, to love somebody, the way I love you.
Happy Father’s Day
https://www.ispot.tv/ad/oLht/facebook-groups-her-first-baseball-game-song-by-bee-gees
This commercial has been on TV for a while. The first thing that caught my attention was the song. It’s one of my favorite BeeGees songs. It was probably the 3rd or 4th time I heard the commithat I actually stopped and watched it.
I was immediately taken to Sunday afternoons at Sox Park with my Dad in the 70s. Back when Sunday double headers were scheduled. Our school had a program where you earned tickets through good grades or perfect attendance. I chose the Sunday double headers. The sun splashed Sundays, the railings with 34567 coats of paint in that old ball park, parking by the railroad tracks, the scent of hot dogs, onions, cotton candy, the taste of Cracker Jack and wishing the toy in the box to be tattoos.
The commercial made me miss those days. My Dad took me to ball games before FACEBOOK made a group about it.
On this Father’s Day, I have many friends, like myself who are missing their Dads today. For those of you who still have your Dads...if you haven’t already, call them. Tell them you love them. Reminisce about when you were a kid.
You don’t know what it’s like, you don’t know what it’s like, to love somebody, to love somebody, the way I love you.
Happy Father’s Day
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