Friday, November 10, 2017

Perception is Everything

"The world is full of oversensitive people."

"People today take offense at every little thing."

I waffle when thinking about both of these statements.

Yes, maybe I am offended by a "dirty" joke; maybe I am not.

Maybe someone isn't normally offended by a "dirty" joke until something in the joke triggers something in their mind.

People should grow a thicker skin...maybe.

Maybe things should be more black and white.

Maybe people should smile more and talk less.

Maybe people should be more cognizant of how their actions and words affect others; and care that they do.

There are people in Alabama defending Roy Moore against corroborated child molestation accusations using the example of Joseph and the Virgin Mary being parents to Jesus.


The world has lost its collective damn mind.

The world has spent years figuring out excuses for behavior that is WRONG.

The United States elected someone who admits to sexually assaulting women president.

I'll say it again, the world has lost its collective damn mind.

The fact of the matter is, there is behavior that is acceptable and there is behavior that isn't.  It is as simple and as black and white as print on paper.  The problem is when we get into interpretations.

It's "locker room" talk.
It's "boys being boys" or "girls being girls" or "kids being kids".
It's the fact that NO ONE takes responsibility for their actions anymore but they are lightning fast to point fingers.

There is behavior that is acceptable and there is behavior that isn't.

We live in a world where a teenage actress posts photos of herself scantily clad.  If you react with distaste, you are body shaming, if you react with unbridled enthusiasm, you are objectifying women (or a young girl). I am the parent of a teenage girl.  Scantily clad photos of her or any other teenage girl are unacceptable PERIOD.  Not because I want to body shame anyone.  Everyone should be proud of who they are; however, I am not sure you are showing that pride by posting a scantily clad photo of yourself.  Perception is everything and in this era of social media, the perception of what one posts is more prominent than the intention of the one posting.  I am not sure there is a way to change that.

There is an overly exposed reality star; I don't need to mention her name but her first initial and mine are the same.  When I see photos of her, I feel sorry for her children.  I have seen more of her boobs than anyone not in a relationship with her should as has her 100 gazillion social media followers.  She is a beautiful woman, no doubt.  The perception given from the photos constantly in the media is that she doesn't care about her privacy and yet she guards it fiercely.  What is the story you are telling...and millions of people are eating up??

I think in this era of FB and Insta and Snapchat, Blogger, Twitter etc, people hide behind a keyboard, claiming to be REAL, DIRECT and RIGHTEOUS.  Does anyone say out loud what they furiously type into their device?  What would you do if someone said what you are typing to YOU or your CHILD??

I remember being threatened by someone I had never met (nor do I care to meet) for "threatening" a family member of theirs in a heated debate about gun control.  I've been clear about where I stand on gun control and that is not the topic of this post.  I had simply asked this person what they would do if a loved one of theirs was a victim in the next mass shooting.  But hey, if it makes you feel better to threaten my all means.  It wasn't my intention to threaten someone with my post but it was another person's perception that I had.  So that person threatened me.  It's my perception that the person that threatened me is batshit crazy...but I digress. 

There is behavior that is acceptable and there is behavior that isn't.  Maybe we should teach that to our children.  Maybe there should be consequences if behavior that isn't acceptable is displayed.  One person's perception of another's behavior may be different than yours; and that is OK.

Three teenagers robbed and beat two people in Chicago the other night, it was captured on security cameras.  Security cameras also captured witnesses continuing about their business.  Seriously what is wrong with people.  Of course the teenagers robbing people are displaying unacceptable behavior but so are the people walking idly by LETTING IT HAPPEN.

Step up people; sitting idly by is what made that overly exposed reality star the mogul she is, it's what allowed thousands of men and women in the TV and film industry to be sexually exploited and abused over many many years, it's what allowed our laughingstock of a president to be elected, it's what allows the hypocrisy that happens daily to exist.

There is behavior that is acceptable and there is behavior that isn't.

Perception is everything.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Be Angry

I shared this statement with a group of friends on FB tonight.

Eventually, my anger about this topic will kill me.  I will either have a heart attack or throw a blood clot.  All because I believe that people should be able to go to church, school, a concert, the movies, the store, for coffee, or to a mall without having to worry about getting blown away by a nutcase with a gun.

What is it going to take to change things?

If you’re in Congress and in bed with the NRA, you are just as guilty as the fool in Texas today.

No, you’re worse because you are too cowardly to stand up to the NRA.

Pray for Columbine

For VA Tech


For Waco, TX

For Las Vegas

For San Bernardino, CA

For Charleston, SC

For Newtown, CT

For Chattanooga, TN

For Orlando, FL

For Fort Hood

I could go on and on and I worry I am forgetting too many instances and I don’t want anyone offended by an unintended slight.

Read the article in the link above.  Then do something besides praying.  Write your congressional them, tweet them.  Be loud, be angry, be heard.  If they don’t listen, vote for someone else.  THEY WORK FOR YOU!  Make them earn that seat.

Fight the gun lobby and fight for better mental healthcare.

The future is too important.  We are too important.

Friday, November 3, 2017

There, I Said it...Vol. 3

I have seen A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving a gazillion times...the scene where Snoopy's ear ends up in the toaster makes me laugh EVERY time.

I care more about my right to live than your right to bear arms.

I care more about my ability to breathe freely than anyone's desire to smoke.

Why is it, regardless of the direction of the wind, the doorway of any business is ALWAYS downwind of the designated smoking area?

I wish I had worn more sunscreen in my youth.

Follow more dog/cat sites on FB, than political sites, it's better for your blood pressure.

Laugh at yourself.

If you have one, open your sunroof on a sunny winter day.

If your teenagers are mad at you regularly, you're doing that parenting thing right.

I hate my cuticles.

I sometimes wish the characters of Designated Survivor roamed the White House in real life...Kal Penn would be infinitely more entertaining (and believable) than Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Take responsibility for your actions, you will earn far more respect that admitting an error than pushing the blame onto someone else.

I think it's time for a whole new set of political leaders at every level of government.

For the millionth time, tone does not translate in written word so say what you mean.

Since when did it become more important to "clap back" than to say anything worthwhile?

Workout leggings are never acceptable work attire, unless you work in a gym.

I wish you could tell a pear was woody from the outside.

I would pay money for a vaccination for sinus infections.

I suck at being a patient patient.  When I am unwell, I want to be well 15 minutes ago.

Some millennials are soft; others not so much.

Never forget where you came from.

I never liked Seinfeld; the characters are not likable.

I have never seen a complete episode of the Simpsons.

At any given time, if you have cable, you can find an episode of Law and Order on.

Have you noticed that "smart" phones don't make their owners smarter?  In fact, it's quite the opposite.

I will never understand why it is so hard for some people to be kind.

I eat soup year round.

The phrase "no offense, but..." is most likely going to be followed by something offensive.

Don't think for a second that someone's life is as fabulous as what they are bragging about on social media.  It may, however, be as bad as their vent indicates.

I fear that face to face conversations are becoming a thing of the past; and that's not a good thing.

I don't think there is a need for Thursday Night Football.

I think cranberries are underrated.

I am not sure men should wear skinny jeans.

While I love the song, I have never once dreamed of a white's easier to travel and transport without snow.

I believe in the magic of Christmas.

Did anyone besides me rejoice when a certain Twitter handle disappeared for 11 minutes yesterday?

Avocados should come with stickers that say how many days until they are perfect.

Americans need to take more vacation time and there should be more work holidays.

Why are GIFs a thing?

I have no idea how or why people opt for so much plastic's painful and expensive and painful!!!

Your scars don't define you but they are part of your story.

When I grow up, I want to storm chase for a few months.

On the other hand, maybe I am not going to grow up!

Friday, October 20, 2017

Find the Good

I have always tried to find the good in things, give people the benefit of the doubt, find the beauty in an otherwise ugly situation.  I guess when everything in your life doesn't go as perfectly as your Pinterest board, you have no choice.  Or do you??  I know of people who don't have a perfect life but they have a pretty good life and yet take every opportunity to hold pity parties for one.  You know them too; glass half empty people.  Some of these people don't even have a glass they have such "poor me" mentalities.

My Dad died when I was young.  It took me a long time to find the good in this particular situation, don't get me wrong.  But many years later, I realized my memories of him are intact.  He didn't battle a disease for years before he passed.  I didn't watch him waste away.  I remember the way he looked and the conversation we had in the middle of the night, hours before he died.

My first marriage failed.  Now all of the good things that happened to me as a result of my first marriage failing are their own blog post.  Let's just say I am where I am today because my first marriage failed.  And where I am is pretty cool.

Lymphoma was not on my bucket list.  But, I learned a lot about myself while I battled lymphoma.  I learned how strong I am.  I learned who my friends are.  I knew how amazing my husband was but that fact was reinforced daily.  I learned that I look OK bald; gonna stick to a full head of hair for now though.  I can rock a beanie, a ball cap, and a fedora.  My makeup skills improved.  I truly learned how small acts of kindness can light up the world for people.  I learned to be present.  I learned to enjoy each and every moment.  I learned to push out the darkness and seek the light.  Most importantly, I won the battle.

In the craziness that is the world today, I try to find the quiet, the calm, the beauty of a sunrise or a sunset...the smoothness of an ice cold glass of Tito’s...the sweetness of a handful of M&Ms..

Find your good.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

The Perils of the Common Cold

So I have been kicking around this cold since mid September.  I wish it was just a cold.  That's actually a twofold statement because this cold has turned into a raging sinus infection.  I think finally after 4 days on antibiotics, I am FINALLY getting the upper hand.

There is a certain amount of angst that accompanies every single cold I get since getting lymphoma.  It starts with a sore throat.  Every cold since I was a child has started with a sore throat.  Sore throats suck.  But now my irrational brain often thinks a random sore throat is throat cancer, tonsil cancer (is that even a thing?), neck cancer.  Wouldn't it just be easier to take a lozenge and move on?  Of course it would.

Look at that, the sore throat eases into sinus pain and pressure...oh yeah and a cough.  It's not a cold, it's a brain tumor, tumors in my sinuses.  Didn't someone's cousin's mother in law leave a cough untreated for months only to find out she had stage 4 lung cancer???  Maybe some cold medicine...but of course, I am limited because of the HBP brought on by the lymphoma diagnosis.

WHY hasn't someone invented something that you can take with water, or a shot or an inhaler that kills a virus???  I am sure there is a logical medical explanation but man, a cure for the common cold would be worth its weight in gold.

A couple of days head is disconnected from my body from the different medications and home remedies I have tried to make myself comfortable.  Now I start stressing about the wrong combination causing cancer...or some other serious malady.  So I resort to trying to drown myself with my neti pot.

This time around, I couldn’t kick it on my own.

Getting back to least on the cold/sinus infection front.  I think the irrational mind is here to stay.

With All Due Respect...

"He knew what he signed up for."  --45; October 2017

So we're 10 months into this debacle; just when you think the leader of the free world (and it pains me to say that) cannot do any worse, he hits it straight out of the ballpark.  I cannot even let it upset me anymore or get me stressed out because I would have had a fatal heart attack 3 months ago.

So to those who voted for him, with all due respect...what were you thinking?  Don't give me the half baked "But Hillary...", "But her emails...", "We needed a change...", "The news industry is against him..."  I don't want to hear it.  This isn't about what the other options were, or what President Obama did before him, or whatever nonsense he is currently ranting about.

This is about the piss poor example of a human being elected to be leader of the free world.

This is about white supremacists being called "fine people".

This is about bitching about aiding the people of a US Territory after a hurricane.

This is about veiled threats to a psychotic leader of a country polishing its nuclear capabilities.

This is about a war on women's rights.

This is about prioritizing standing for the national anthem above other UGELY more important issues.

This is about not even having the decency to call the widow of a member of our military to offer kind words of condolence without a careless jab.

This is about the fact that he lies so often that if he said the sky was blue, chances are real good I would look out my window to check.

This is about giving credence to the alt right.  Oh, hell no.

This is about tweeting like a baby man.

This is about the fact that all he does is criticize but god forbid he take any criticism; even when his performance is poor.

It would be so much different if he could admit he has faults (maybe not all of them because no one has time for that list).  He could say, he has difficulty with empathy.  I can respect that.

I can respect a need for change.  I cannot respect that day in and day out it has been like a reality TV show.  THIS IS REAL LIFE NOT REALITY TV.

Let's be honest, reality TV is TV in its most vapid form and yet a reality TV "star" was elected president of this country.

With all due respect, if you voted for him, you don't deserve respect; and neither does he.

Respect is earned.  Has 45 accomplished anything since January?

There was the AWESOME replacement for the Affordable Care Act...oh, wait, that's right, health insurance is hard.
There was the simplified tax code...oh wait, he really only wants to give tax breaks to his rich friends.
But Mexico is paying for the wall...oh, wait, American taxpayers are going to pay for that; same as we're paying for secret service detail to watch 45 golf more than he governs.

He cannot even hire staff to make him look less stupid, childish, deranged, delusional (pick an adjective) than he does on a daily basis.

With all due respect, he doesn't care about the poor, the middle class, the disabled, the women, the homosexuals, black people, brown people; not even those in the groups mentioned above that VOTED FOR HIM.

With all due respect, those of you who voted for him are being played daily hourly.  Wake up and smell the coffee.

Yes, I know, I should respect the president and I will again someday...when the respect is due.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017


In this post you will find the words from the U2 song Running To Stand Still.  It's one of my favorite U2 songs.   It was released in 1987...on The Joshua Tree Album which is also one of my favorite albums of all time.  Some people love U2, some don't.  I love U2.  I have seen them in concert twice and regret not going to see the 30th anniversary tour of The Joshua Tree this summer.

This song has always spoken to me; sometimes loud and clear; others more subtly.

And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was
Lying still
Said I gotta do something
About where we're going

Step on a steam train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night
Singing ha, ah la la la de day
Ah da da da de day
Ah la la de day

Sometimes I think the "random" play on my iPhone is anything but.  This song came up on my way to work Monday morning.  I was reeling Monday after hearing about the massacre in Las Vegas.  All at once, the tears came.

Sweet the sin
Bitter than taste in my mouth
I see seven towers
But I only see one way out

You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice
You know I took the poison
From the poison stream
Then I floated out of here
Singing ha la la la de day
Ha la la la de day
Ha la la de day

My brain has a hard time understanding the evil that lives in people; not all people.  Some people though seem to have crushing evil in their hearts.  Others live with an ignorance of anything that doesn't directly pertain to them.  Or they think their rights are being taken away. 

I don't know how to reconcile what happens regularly in this country but not in other industrialized countries.  I struggle to understand how people rise up in defense of fetuses but have no concept of how to care of the poor, or understand that rules written 200+ years ago might not apply word for word today.  If the Constitution was perfect, it wouldn't have amendments. 

She runs through the streets
With eyes painted red
Under a black belly of cloud in the rain
In through a doorway she brings me
White gold and pearls stolen from the sea
She is raging
She is raging
And the storm blows up in her eyes

She will
Suffer the needle chill
She's running to stand

I have mentioned before how much music means to me.  It is part of me.  It brings me joy and peace.  It helps me communicate; a thought, a lament, a prayer.

Life will go on, wounds will heal.  New normals will be found.  Life will never be the same.  How many MORE times will it have to happen?