Clutter is one day going to cause me to have a nervous breakdown.
It doesn't matter if it is dressed in berry flavor or mochachino flavor, barium sulfate is gross and what it does to my insides is gross-er.
Anyone still posting duck face selfies...STOP it. Take down the old ones too.
Speaking of selfies, do the people that take them realize that if you put the camera at arm's length above your head, people can see right down your shirt? Or is that the point?
Do people still watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette? Why?
I wish people had volume buttons.
And "OFF" buttons
At Party City (or any party store that sells helium balloons), there should be a separate line for those buying balloons and those NOT buying balloons. Both lines should be staffed when the store is open.
Fresh cherries are the bomb!
I will routinely eat cherries until I am sick to my stomach.
Riding my back bumper in heavy traffic is not going to make me drive faster or move out of your way. In fact, it might make me go slower.
I wish I could afford to retire...tomorrow.
I cannot stand tofu....no, that's not correct. I don't get the point of tofu.
Unless I am causing them harm, I don't OWE anyone under the age of 18 an explanation for anything.
"Because I said so." is a legitimate reason when dealing with children.
You don't deserve congratulations or a reward for doing your job.
Many millennials should be more humble and less vocal.
I love green olives.
And black olives...really all olives.
I should only have to pay for the cable that I use. If I have to pay a flat fee, I should be eligible for a refund when I cannot find anything good on TV.
I love chocolate but do not love brownies and most chocolate cake.
Watching The Food Network does not make you a foodie.
I will put ketchup on my hot dog if I want, it doesn't make me less of a Chicagoan. It makes me a person who likes ketchup on their hot dog. If you DON'T want ketchup on a hot dog, don't take mine.
Not everyone should get a trophy, medal or ribbon.
I feel sorry for kids growing up today. There are so many things we did as kids that you cannot do anymore.
I am a germaphobe and it's only gotten worse since battling cancer.
Women, unless you are a 32A, wear a bra in public. I don't need to see what your boobs look like and really and truly neither does anyone else.
Men, shirts in public are a good idea 99.9723588755% of the time.
Everyone in public, I don't care what your underpants look like so please keep them covered and I WILL ASK YOU if I am interested in whether or not you've gone commando today.
Seriously, Steve Bartman didn't cause the Cubs to lose the 2003 World Series. I consider it to be a karma visit to someone who truly deserved it.
Tell me the truth even if it hurts my feelings. I cannot stand being lied to.
Lies by omission are still lies.
Use your turn signals, if you don't, I am going to use my horn.
I swear there are gremlins living in my computer; they have stolen emails, left a bunch of SPAM and have escaped the computer long enough to wrestle a couple of socks from the sock monster living in my dryer.
Only Kim K looks good with 3lbs of contouring cosmetics on her face; the rest of the world looks like they have 35lbs of cosmetics on their face.
It's never OK to clip your toenails in public; public is defined as every place other than the bathroom.
In my house, if it's on the floor it belongs to the beagle (let's be honest, the whole house belongs to the beagle).
Steel Magnolias makes me cry EVERY TIME I see it.
I have cried listening to the Hamilton soundtrack; I will need a box of tissues when I see the play this weekend.
I find the ousted White House Communications Director (the one that lasted 10 days) to be a truly disgusting individual. It speaks volumes if 45 thought so too as I thought they were cut from the same cloth.
When is the shit show that is the White House going to end?
I own over 100 pair of shoes and boots.
Winter needs to be outlawed.
Socks and flip flops are a no-no in my world; doesn't matter what color the socks are but dark socks are worse than white.
Clean up after your dog.
People didn't know how good they had it.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend but have you ever known a girl to have only one best friend? See also shoes, cars, purses. LOL
I like infused vodka, but not flavored vodka; there is a difference.
I like craft beer, wish it had fewer calories and more protein.
It's time for some new political parties.
More people should be concerned with doing what is right than they are about BEING right...this is another thing the people that need to know it will miss completely.
Why is it so hard for some people to be kind? It costs nothing.
Why is it so hard for some people to be humble?
Why can't people take responsibility for their actions? (see the shit show in the White House)
Common sense needs to be more common; not having it should bring consequences.