Wednesday, January 20, 2016


If you live in Chicago during January, you are well versed in the concept of frozen.  The wind chill was -26 when I left the house Monday morning.  It literally took 10 hours and and change of socks to get my feet to warm up.

Today is the anniversary (31 years) of the coldest day in history in Chicago...the TEMPERATURE was -26...the wind chill, real feel, call it what you want was somewhere in the -70's or some such nonsense.  It was freaking COLD.  I was out in it as the stupid 17 year old that I was...oh wait, I was out with my parents and some other parental supervision, watching of all things a hockey game.  It was so cold you left your car running  in the parking lot to make sure the engine didn't freeze and leave you stranded.  When the players stepped outside after showering in the locker room, their hair froze.  Yes, contact lenses can freeze while in your eyes..been there done that.

Frozen is also a delightful (if not overplayed) Disney movie.  I am guessing that anyone who reads this knows who Elsa, Anna and Olaf are and know every word of the movie's anthem, "Let it Go".  You're welcome for the earworm.

Today is the one year anniversary of having my port installed for chemo.  I remember kind of being frozen in the days after my diagnosis.  Not in the sense of not being able to move but watch a body of water when it is starting to freeze...think Lake Michigan.  I was at the lakefront the other day and the lake is not frozen as it has been the last couple of winters but it was thicker than normal, and moving slowly, sluggishly.  Think of a Slushie from 7-Eleven.  That was me a year ago...sluggishly moving from one appointment to another, being poked, prodded, medicated, terrified of the unknown and EVERYTHING at that point was unknown.

Every so often the scars from my port zap me.  I am sure it is mostly psychological but the little twinges of pain are real.  I look at them as reminders of where I have been AND where I am going.  A little kick to the irrational fears of a relapse, a little poke to keep moving forward.  Keep working, keep fighting, keep standing tall, keep heading out into the cold of another January in Chicago.

"Let It Go" has it spite of my grousing and grumbling, the cold really doesn't bother me...unless Jack Frost is trying to sucker punch me and tear my ears off at the same time!

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