You know I'm alright now.
Some lyrics from one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands, Chicago.
The song is talking about a relationship. I am talking about my health. Chicago is one of those bands that I can relate to a handful of their songs.
Right after my diagnosis, I felt very isolated; with good reason. Sometimes 10 days would go by without me leaving my house. It was the dead of winter which is not my favorite season when I feel 100%. I was still very overwhelmed, out of my element, not following any type of routine.
Those who know me know that I thrive on routine...they know how much I love to have a plan. Simple things that I didn't even realize I was missing were part of my routine that had gone by the wayside.
Music. Every day I listen to music. It's rare that music fails to pull me out of a foul mood. My music collection is vast, my musical taste is eclectic. There are few types of music that I do not like. Part of my daily routine includes listening to my collection on iTunes in my car during my commute. Chemo stole my immune system so my commute to work went from 9 miles one way to the 25 steps from my bedroom to the dining room table. It took several weeks working from home before I realized what was missing...the MUSIC.
I got a bluetooth wireless speaker last Christmas as a gift and had set it aside. Once I realized I needed my music again, it became part of my office set up. When the music returned, my sense of isolation lessened. I also started venturing out more. I went back to my voice lessons...they're better than therapy; although if you cannot sing, maybe not. I actually chose a new song based on something I heard during my new routine.
One day at my desking room table, my iPhone chose this song and the lyrics struck me even more than normal because I was FEELING STRONGER EVERY DAY. Some time between treatment 2 and 3, it was true. It was then I almost started dreading my treatments because of the few days when I felt like I had been hit by a tour bus.
This summer we went to see Chicago at Ravinia. In my mind Ravinia was built for a band like Chicago but ironically enough, it was only a couple of years ago when the band made their first appearance at this serene venue. I smiled when Feeling Stronger Every Day played and sang the lyrics as if I was a back up singer. By then I knew I was alright now. :-)