For the last year and half or so I have noticed a change in people.
There are some people who go out of their way to be kind to the people around them. I'll get to them another time.
The ones I want to talk about today are the ones who ride past a bus stop on a rainy morning in the curb lane, showering the already wet commuters.
The ones who think they are so important they need to cut around the lines of traffic waiting to pass an intersection with a malfunctioning signal and then cut off those who have waited patiently (or at least it looked like they were patient).
The ones who think it's OK to taunt an African America hockey player as he sits in the penalty box at the United Center (stay classy Chicago).
The ones who applaud an accused cop killer.
The ones who take 2 weeks worth of groceries for a family of 5 through the 15 items or less line.
The ones who think their right to bear arms trumps the right of a child to feel safe in a classroom.
The ones who park in a handicapped spot without the appropriate placard or plate.
The ones who bitch about parking restrictions set to allow for snow removal.
The ones who think rules are made simply to inconvenience them.
The ones who brag about their rights but have no problem infringing on the rights of others.
The ones who think it's OK to text a woman (or a man), over and over looking for a date (or whatever) even after being told, the object of their advances isn't interested.
The ones who slant the news in such a way that it's not even real anymore.
The ones who take responsibility for nothing and are constantly looking for someone to blame.
The ones who have a problem with another person because of who they love or the color of their skin or the faith they follow, or the fact that they are poor, or mentally ill.
The ones who like to hide their horrible behavior behind the guise of their faith.
The ones who like to bend every situation to fit their needs at the time.
I am sure you can add your own.
I feel as if there is a whole group of people that think their poor behavior is acceptable these days when they couldn't be further from the truth.
Listen up...the world owes you NOTHING. You're not cool or clever. You're not more important than ANYONE else. In fact, you're just an asshole.
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
Friday, February 16, 2018
Here We Are
So here we are...another day, another mass shooting.
We’re all praying for those lost and their families and those injured. We’re grateful for the first responders.
The gun lobby owns Congress for the most part so they will have a moment of silence...and DO NOTHING ELSE.
So it’s up to us.
If you see something say something. How many times have you heard that phrase? How often have you done it?
Talk to you kids. I know most teenagers would rather Snaptagram their lives away rather than talk to their parents. Sit them down and talk to them. Know what is going on in their lives. Know who their friends are. Know who the class outcast is. If your kids grouse about it, tell them too bad.
If there are any teenagers reading this...talk to your parents. If you’re not comfortable talking to them, find an adult you trust. If you know someone who is acting strange...SAY SOMETHING! To them, to a teacher, to your parents. It might be nothing, but it could be something.
Parents, a generation of kids is growing up that is having difficulty coping. Is it the participation trophies? Is it the fact that many kids these days are told that the shit rainbows from the day they are born? Maybe. Tell you kid that life isn’t fair and then teach them how to navigate through the times when it isn’t fair.
Teach them that the world owes them nothing. Teach them that life is precious. Teach them to be kind, to say hello to the kid sitting alone at lunch. Teach them that the violent video games they like to play do not portray normal acceptable behavior. Teach them to take responsibility for their actions.
Lawmakers...where do we start? If you’re not going to strengthen gun laws, how about we take another look at healthcare in this country? How about funding school counselors? How about delving into the mental health situation here in the US and how it is becoming a crisis. How about we throw more than words at the opioid crisis. How about investing in active shooter training in all schools?
How about we make as big a deal of lives lost in a school shooting as we do over an aborted fetus? Some people want to defund Planned Parenthood because they offer abortion. How about defunding the NRA? Dead is dead. You don’t get to pick and choose your right to life beliefs. You believe or you don’t.
If you’re a lawmaker and you’ve taken money from the NRA, you have blood on your hands same as if you pulled the trigger.
A child in school has to be worth AT LEAST AS MUCH as an unborn fetus.
Every lawmaker at every level should look at a mass shooting from the point of view of the family of a victim. After all, these are the people you are sworn to serve. What are you going to tell the moms and dads of the CHILDREN killed the other day? How are you going to make it right?
How are the leaders of this country going to do better? Here's a clue...the answer doesn't lie in a military parade, a border wall, tax cuts for the wealthy, soda taxes, pension bailouts, NRA contributions, conservative PACs, blaming the victims. The answer lies in the people lawmakers are sworn to serve. TALK TO THEM. More importantly LISTEN TO THEM.
Back to us. What are you going to do? This isn't about a person's right to bear arms. It's about taking back our safe places; schools, malls, concerts. It's about taking back our lawmakers from a few people with a lot of money. It's about challenging those with staunch religious beliefs to take their beliefs further than judging others and infringing their beliefs on others. It's about inclusion and not exclusion. It's about taking a message to those who make laws and policies; what we have in place isn't working. It's about CHANGE.
We’re all praying for those lost and their families and those injured. We’re grateful for the first responders.
The gun lobby owns Congress for the most part so they will have a moment of silence...and DO NOTHING ELSE.
So it’s up to us.
If you see something say something. How many times have you heard that phrase? How often have you done it?
Talk to you kids. I know most teenagers would rather Snaptagram their lives away rather than talk to their parents. Sit them down and talk to them. Know what is going on in their lives. Know who their friends are. Know who the class outcast is. If your kids grouse about it, tell them too bad.
If there are any teenagers reading this...talk to your parents. If you’re not comfortable talking to them, find an adult you trust. If you know someone who is acting strange...SAY SOMETHING! To them, to a teacher, to your parents. It might be nothing, but it could be something.
Parents, a generation of kids is growing up that is having difficulty coping. Is it the participation trophies? Is it the fact that many kids these days are told that the shit rainbows from the day they are born? Maybe. Tell you kid that life isn’t fair and then teach them how to navigate through the times when it isn’t fair.
Teach them that the world owes them nothing. Teach them that life is precious. Teach them to be kind, to say hello to the kid sitting alone at lunch. Teach them that the violent video games they like to play do not portray normal acceptable behavior. Teach them to take responsibility for their actions.
Lawmakers...where do we start? If you’re not going to strengthen gun laws, how about we take another look at healthcare in this country? How about funding school counselors? How about delving into the mental health situation here in the US and how it is becoming a crisis. How about we throw more than words at the opioid crisis. How about investing in active shooter training in all schools?
How about we make as big a deal of lives lost in a school shooting as we do over an aborted fetus? Some people want to defund Planned Parenthood because they offer abortion. How about defunding the NRA? Dead is dead. You don’t get to pick and choose your right to life beliefs. You believe or you don’t.
If you’re a lawmaker and you’ve taken money from the NRA, you have blood on your hands same as if you pulled the trigger.
A child in school has to be worth AT LEAST AS MUCH as an unborn fetus.
Every lawmaker at every level should look at a mass shooting from the point of view of the family of a victim. After all, these are the people you are sworn to serve. What are you going to tell the moms and dads of the CHILDREN killed the other day? How are you going to make it right?
How are the leaders of this country going to do better? Here's a clue...the answer doesn't lie in a military parade, a border wall, tax cuts for the wealthy, soda taxes, pension bailouts, NRA contributions, conservative PACs, blaming the victims. The answer lies in the people lawmakers are sworn to serve. TALK TO THEM. More importantly LISTEN TO THEM.
Back to us. What are you going to do? This isn't about a person's right to bear arms. It's about taking back our safe places; schools, malls, concerts. It's about taking back our lawmakers from a few people with a lot of money. It's about challenging those with staunch religious beliefs to take their beliefs further than judging others and infringing their beliefs on others. It's about inclusion and not exclusion. It's about taking a message to those who make laws and policies; what we have in place isn't working. It's about CHANGE.
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Dear Dad
Dear Dad,
I thought of you today as I sat in traffic in the snow...people are still driving like morons and you'd be proud of the way I introduce people to my car's horn regularly. I know it's a Hyundai (and not a Chrysler product) but it's pretty slick. Maybe one day I'll buy a muscle car...just keep an eye out for me, I have a bit of lead foot, you'd be proud of that too.
Mom's doing well; she's going to Costa Rica next month, none of us like to fly but it's a means to an end. I keep trying to talk her into the zip-lining trip.
You'd like the guys Carrie and I married; well maybe not all of them...that first one of mine...let's just say I did MUCH better the second time around.
You'd love your grandkids; the big ones and the little ones, they amaze me daily.
Daytona is next Sunday, Dad. You're immortalized on the finish line there in Sharpie marker. You'd flip out over the renovation at the track. You'd like Martin Truex a lot.
You'd be astounded at the way the world has changed and probably not surprised that some things stayed the same.
Remember Jolly Jacks?? It's a pub called Declan's now...tons of craft beer...did you know beer that tastes like fruit is really good?? Chris introduced me to Blue Moons shortly after we met and I have become a beer snob. We love Declan's, I think it's because I visited Jolly Jacks as a kid.
In the 28 years since you're gone I know you have said hello in your way. I am guessing it was you at 2:15am today checking in. The beagle knew you were there too.
Not sure why I am struggling today 28 years later maybe it's the snow, maybe it's because it's Wednesday and you left us on a Wednesday. I guess I don't need a reason. Having a reason isn't going to change it.
I don't remember who said it about the loss of a parent; you never get over it, you just learn to make the best of it.
XOXO
Me
I thought of you today as I sat in traffic in the snow...people are still driving like morons and you'd be proud of the way I introduce people to my car's horn regularly. I know it's a Hyundai (and not a Chrysler product) but it's pretty slick. Maybe one day I'll buy a muscle car...just keep an eye out for me, I have a bit of lead foot, you'd be proud of that too.
Mom's doing well; she's going to Costa Rica next month, none of us like to fly but it's a means to an end. I keep trying to talk her into the zip-lining trip.
You'd like the guys Carrie and I married; well maybe not all of them...that first one of mine...let's just say I did MUCH better the second time around.
You'd love your grandkids; the big ones and the little ones, they amaze me daily.
Daytona is next Sunday, Dad. You're immortalized on the finish line there in Sharpie marker. You'd flip out over the renovation at the track. You'd like Martin Truex a lot.
You'd be astounded at the way the world has changed and probably not surprised that some things stayed the same.
Remember Jolly Jacks?? It's a pub called Declan's now...tons of craft beer...did you know beer that tastes like fruit is really good?? Chris introduced me to Blue Moons shortly after we met and I have become a beer snob. We love Declan's, I think it's because I visited Jolly Jacks as a kid.
In the 28 years since you're gone I know you have said hello in your way. I am guessing it was you at 2:15am today checking in. The beagle knew you were there too.
Not sure why I am struggling today 28 years later maybe it's the snow, maybe it's because it's Wednesday and you left us on a Wednesday. I guess I don't need a reason. Having a reason isn't going to change it.
I don't remember who said it about the loss of a parent; you never get over it, you just learn to make the best of it.
XOXO
Me
Friday, January 26, 2018
Why March?
Last Saturday there were marches all over the world. Women’s Marches
Some people don’t know what the marches are for...
We’re marching for rights...the right to quality healthcare, the right to choose, the right to be in charge of our own reproductive systems, the right to equal pay, the right to be treated with respect, the right to disagree with every piece of buffoonery coming out of the White House, the right to not descend into the way things were in the 19th or even 20th centuries, the right to not be sexualized or sexually harassed, the right to yell “bullshit” every time Sarah Huckabee Sanders opens her mouth, the right to stand up to evangelical “Christians” who harbor the delusion that God has somehow anointed Donald Trump to run this great nation, the right to run for office, the right to vote for better representation at all levels of government, the right to be dissatisfied and to VOICE THAT DISSATISFACTION LOUDLY, the right to show our daughters, nieces, granddaughters (our sons, nephews and grandsons too) that we can bring about change.
We’re marching for change. We’re marching for unity. We’re marching for peace.
I could go on for days giving reasons to march.
Some people still don’t get it...that’s OK.
But don’t belittle those who do get it. Don’t post some right wing crap from some uniformed talking head. Don’t listen to Fox News (1. It’s not real news and 2. They’re still talking about Hillary’s emails and will be when the ICBMs land in Los Angeles).
Ask someone about it and LISTEN to what they have to say. You don’t have to agree.
But get out of our way.
Below is a link from the January 29th issue of Time Magazine, give it a read. #changeiscoming
http://time.com/5107499/record-number-of-women-are-running-for-office/
Monday, January 15, 2018
Hello 50
So I had a birthday last week.
A big one.
I joined a club with some other cool people I know. Yeah, yeah I turned 50.
When I was a kid, 50 was OLD. Ancient! When I was a kid, a 50 year old walked with the dinosaurs. As a recently minted 50 year old, the only dinosaurs I have walked with are animatronic.
Let me tell the kids of the world, 50 years goes by in the blink of an eye.
In 50 years I have...
moved more than 6 times
learned French
fallen in love more than once
fallen out of love more than once
fallen on ice more than once
played on monkey bars
yep, I have fallen off of monkey bars too!
worked in a bakery
eaten a raw oyster (ick)
shoveled snow
driven in snow
cursed at the snow
traveled to 33 states
driven a hot rod
bowled over 200
traveled to Europe
traveled to Mexico
traveled to the Caribbean
laughed and cried...sometimes at the same time
walked on beaches, been to the mountains
been terrified to fly and have done it anyway
been on a plane that executed a successful emergency landing (see above)
managed people
managed expectations
managed my expectations of certain people
sang in the shower
sang in the rain
sang out of tune
sang in front of a crowd
bought a car
bought a house
bought lots of shoes
broken a finger
broken a heart...maybe more than one
paid a toll for the driver behind me
smiled at a stranger
volunteered at a soup kitchen
dyed my hair
lost my hair
learned to type
learned to use a PC, brick phone, Blackberry, smart phone, iPhone, iPad, Apple Watch and am still fairly technologically illiterate
gotten married...twice. Sometimes you have to foul one off to get it right.
witnessed local sports teams win 2 World Series, 3 Stanley Cups, 6 NBA titles and 1 Super Bowl
been to a few NASCAR races
been sunburned
learned to drive
learned to parallel park
won a fantasy football league
watched people blast off into space and cried when not all of them returned
been to concerts too numerous to chat about here
lost a few loved ones
found many many friends
had cancer
kicked cancer's ass and have the scars to prove it
been grateful
been angry
been lonely but never alone
never given up
So I have been busy it seems. It's interesting looking back at 50 trips around the sun. People are saying these days that 50 is the new 40. Whatever.
50 is 50. Some days I feel old. Most days I don't. I have some gray hair...only my hairdresser knows how much. I think I am wiser than years ago. Although, I still occasionally do stupid stuff.
A few years ago, turning 50 wasn't a given so let's just say, I am damn glad to be here.
Monday, December 18, 2017
Believe
Do you believe in Santa?
Do your kids? If the answer is no, when did they stop believing?
I remember as a kid, when we moved into our house starting to get skeptical about Santa coming down the chimney because we didn't have a fireplace and our chimney ended inside an ENORMOUS furnace. The logical part of me knew Santa didn't emerge from the door on the side of said furnace.
Eventually I understood how Santa worked. I am not putting spoilers here. Who knows how many children may read this blog. LOL
As I moved into my teens, you often heard, "If you don't believe, you don't receive." Hmmm, OK.
As an adult, I consider myself one of Santa's helpers...I'll leave it at that.
Driving to work recently, struggling to get into the Christmas spirit, inspiration for this post came to me.
Christmas is next week. Maybe Santa comes to your house. Maybe not, maybe you don't have a house for Santa to come to. Whatever the case, Christmas is a magical season, whether you believe a child was born in a manger over 2000 years ago or not. Whether you believe in the guy in the red suit with the sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer or not. There is magic in the air, in the music, in the greetings from friends in family, in your heart.
Maybe you are joyous today, maybe you're just trying to get through the day. Either way is OK.
The world has been a crazy place for a while now. It's hard to see the good in the world sometimes. Sometimes I find myself losing hope. Sometimes my hope lives in a glass half empty. Thankfully it has never gone completely away.
I believe in Santa, in the magic of Christmas, that a child was born in a manger, that there is good in the world, in hope.
Do you?
Do your kids? If the answer is no, when did they stop believing?
I remember as a kid, when we moved into our house starting to get skeptical about Santa coming down the chimney because we didn't have a fireplace and our chimney ended inside an ENORMOUS furnace. The logical part of me knew Santa didn't emerge from the door on the side of said furnace.
Eventually I understood how Santa worked. I am not putting spoilers here. Who knows how many children may read this blog. LOL
As I moved into my teens, you often heard, "If you don't believe, you don't receive." Hmmm, OK.
As an adult, I consider myself one of Santa's helpers...I'll leave it at that.
Driving to work recently, struggling to get into the Christmas spirit, inspiration for this post came to me.
Christmas is next week. Maybe Santa comes to your house. Maybe not, maybe you don't have a house for Santa to come to. Whatever the case, Christmas is a magical season, whether you believe a child was born in a manger over 2000 years ago or not. Whether you believe in the guy in the red suit with the sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer or not. There is magic in the air, in the music, in the greetings from friends in family, in your heart.
Maybe you are joyous today, maybe you're just trying to get through the day. Either way is OK.
The world has been a crazy place for a while now. It's hard to see the good in the world sometimes. Sometimes I find myself losing hope. Sometimes my hope lives in a glass half empty. Thankfully it has never gone completely away.
I believe in Santa, in the magic of Christmas, that a child was born in a manger, that there is good in the world, in hope.
Do you?
Thursday, December 14, 2017
5 Years Ago
5 years ago in a school in Connecticut, a madman with a gun killed 20 children and 6 adults; including the nephew of a friend.
I remember feeling the awful gut wrenching feeling as if it had been my own nephew, but I will never truly understand what the families of the victims go through daily as a result of this tragedy.
I remember praying; stopping what I was doing in my office at work and praying for the radio reports to be mistaken, for the first responders, for the news about my friend's nephew to not be true, for understanding, for peace, for SO MANY THINGS.
How could something like that happen?
Here we are 5 years later and I am older, wiser, and much more cynical. My sister summed it up well...we crossed a line that day as a nation that allows this to happen. Sadly, it now happens with more frequency and each tragedy seems to have more victims.
I am not going to debate gun control today. I am not going to rail against those that think we should walk down Main St. with weapons drawn. I am not going to pontificate on mental healthcare and how it fails people daily.
I am going to be kinder than normal. I am going to smile more. I am going to say a few prayers. I am going to enjoy the little things today. I am going to reach out to someone in need. I am going to honor the victims of Sandy Hook and those who went before them and since; all victims of gun violence.
What I do isn't going to solve the world's problems, our nation's problems or even the problems of the neighbors on my block; I am only one person.
But I can make a difference in the world and so can you.
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