Monday, June 27, 2016

Be Present


Watch this video. Copy and paste the link into your browser.

https://www.facebook.com/FOXSports1/videos/931031173689005/

For those of you that are not NASCAR fans, Sherry Pollex is the girlfriend of NASCAR driver Martin Truex Jr.  She was diagnosed in 2014 with ovarian cancer.  She endured over a year of grueling treatment.  She is healthy now.

I followed Sherry and Martin's journey before I was sick and during my treatment.  Sherry seemed to handle things with such beauty and grace.  When I would see her on TV, I had a little insight of where she was at with treatment based on how she looked.  There is only so much makeup can cover when you're battling cancer and the poison you're putting in your body to kill the cancer.  I know the look when you're smiling but in your mind you're counting the seconds until you can collapsed on a couch for a nap.

 I prayed for her recovery as well as my own.

Last Sept at Chicagoland Speedway, I yelled to Martin on the red carpet that we were praying for Sherry's recovery.  He stopped in the midst of signing autographs and said "thank you" in my direction.  He didn't know who had yelled but in a crowd of fans he took a second to acknowledge a kindness.  He was human.  He wasn't a super hero piloting a 3500lb vehicle into a turn 3 wide at 210mph.  He was a man, who had a loved one battling an insidious disease.

When we went to Daytona in February, I was rooting for Martin and listened in to his radio transmissions during the race.  He lost that race by 4 inches.  In May, NASCAR races a 600 miler at Charlotte.  Martin won it leading 392 of 400 laps...sheer domination.  Tears streamed down my face as the camera followed Sherry in the closing laps and then when they met in Victory Circle. 

Victory...you won the race.  You won the battle.  So did I.

Something Sherry said in the interview struck such a chord with me, she credited Steve Byrnes with her mantra. 

"Be present"

 Steve Byrnes was a broadcaster for Fox Sports who sadly passed from head and neck cancer last April.  I followed him on Twitter during our battles and he was in my prayers as well.

When I visited my oncologist last June before returning to my office to work, he told me to go out an enjoy life.  He was telling me to be present.  I find that I notice things more than I did before.  The sky isn't just blue on a beautiful day, it's cobalt or cerulean or azure.  The grass isn't just green, it's avocado, fern, or moss. Not everyone is lucky enough to see the distinctions.  How many people never look up from their phone or computer to even notice.

Be present.

Listen to a child's laughter...the sound of a bird.
Look for fireflies, four leaf clovers.
Smell fresh baked cookies, the woods after a rain.

Toward the end of the interview, Sherry talks about how your perspective changes when you get cancer.  I talked about it a bit in this blog.  It may sound trite but it's true.

It's too bad it takes a life threatening diagnosis to adjust perspective for some people.  Every day is a gift.  We just need to be present to realize it and enjoy it.








Monday, June 13, 2016

Enough Already

I am going to stray a bit from my normal topics here to get a few things off my chest. 

Based on the events in Orlando, FL, I feel the need to say a few things out loud here on the internet.  I am sad about what happened.  I am angry about what happened.  I am stunned that things like this keep happening and the lawmakers of the US are too busy arguing with each other and cashing checks from the gun lobby to do anything about it.

We have a candidate for President who wants the current President to step down because of how he described the tragedy that occurred yesterday.  Really??  I honestly want to know why a presidential candidate needs to weigh in on what happened yesterday with anything other than, "My heart goes out to the victims and their families."  Trust me no one wants to hear how you would handle this if you were President.  Hopefully the people of the US will never have to worry about YOU being President because 50 people dying in a night club on Latin night will be the very LEAST of our problems if YOU are elected President.

But let's get back to what happened.  An unstable wife beater with a history of shady remarks regarding terrorism and ISIS, who was investigated by the FBI twice was able to LEGALLY buy an assault weapon and mow down 49 people in a night club.  In what alternative universe is this OK?

Now I know that I have friends and acquaintances that want the constitutional right to bear arms.  I get that.  The Constitutional was written a couple hundred years ago.  It does NOT cover assault rifles.  Some may say they are gun collectors and that is why they NEED an assault rifle.  OK, then you'll be OK with waiting a few days/weeks/months, however long it takes authorities to confirm that you are not clinically insane, a convicted felon, a closet terrorist, some combination of those three or someone who might just be THISCLOSE to snapping because they saw two boys kissing or because the sun rose in the East today.  If you really and truly are going to keep it in a lovely cherry gun case and take it out periodically to blow the hell out of pop cans in a remote field somewhere, YOU WILL BE WILLING TO WAIT.  Otherwise I question your need for an assault rifle.

Anyone reading this who wants to tell me I am wrong, I make one request of you.  Look at this situation as if it was your child killed in Orlando; their body riddled with the 30 bullets than an assault rifle can fire off in the blink of an eye.  If you still think I am wrong, I question what is in your heart and I am entitled to my opinion as you are.

I am beginning to think that might be the problem.  People's hearts have become hard, intolerant, mean, opinionated, high and mighty, better than everyone else and they feel the need to talk about it, tweet about it, instagram about it; whatever forum they choose.  That's another problem, there are way too many forums where people can spew the hate and intolerance.  Whatever happened to the phrase, "If you cannot think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"?  Yes, of course you are entitled to your opinion, but wisdom should tell you that not every opinion should be shared.  One of the beautiful things about life in the USA is that we are ALL entitled to have an opinion; man, woman, black, white, gay, straight, Muslim, immigrant.  Oh yes, and at one point ALL Americans were immigrants so we're not going to have THAT discussion here.

In a couple of weeks we will celebrate the 240th birthday of the United States of America; the greatest nation on Earth.  I remember when we celebrated our nation's bicentennial.  It was a different world then.  Better now?  Better then?  I am not sure, there are arguments for both sides of that coin.  I worry now on the 4th of July; where in America will the next terrorist attack be. Will it be a parade?  a fireworks display?  I know for sure, I didn't worry about that in 1976 and neither did my parents.

Maybe if everyone was kinder to one another...

Maybe if you said hello to someone on the street...

Maybe if you held a door...

Maybe if you smiled at a child...

Maybe if you told a stranger to have a nice day...

Maybe if you paid for coffee for the guy behind you in line at Starbucks or Dunkin...

Maybe if you let that red Chevy in when merging on the expressway...

Maybe if you kept your mouth shut when you didn't have something nice to say...

Maybe if you weren't so quick to jump down someone's throat when they said something you didn't agree with...

Maybe if you made it clear to your local,  state and federal politicians that you are NOT happy with the status quo...

Maybe if you changed your profile photo to show support...and then did something concrete to reinforce the support...

Maybe if you saw each person as just a person...without a label describing the color of their skin, their ethnicity, their religion, their sexual preference, their gender...

Maybe if we all tried some of these things and I could come up with 100 more easily.

Many people have said that Love always wins.  How about we try getting behind Love...it could use the support right about now.

After 9/11, I was surprised at how kind people were to each other; how that tragedy unified.  Now everything divides.

 I live in Chicago where gangs are at war and dozens of people are shot senselessly every week.  It is as is life has no value.  EVERY LIFE HAS VALUE.

Maybe this will be the tragedy that unifies.  Unfortunately, I have become jaded over the years so I will be honest and say that I doubt it will happen.  That makes me sad...and angry and I have come full circle from the opening of this post.  I have had enough.

I will do my part to be kinder, gentler; quieter if I don't have anything nice to say.  Who is with me?